Yet another ShizNat fanfiction
by chapellefan
Summary: ShizNat. As Natsuki and Shizuru try to resolve their relationship, they are followed by Mai, Mikoto, several cultural references and many, many fanboys and girls. Rated T for mass stupidity.
1. Gambling with Hearts is Legal!

Disclaimer: Crackfics are bad for your health and I do not own Mai HiME!

(**A/N:** In the FanFiction world, there are two kinds of humor: the kind of humor that uses actual wit to win over the intelligent crowd, and the kind of humor that throws as many pop culture references as possible until one of them makes somebody laugh. This is the latter.)

**Gambling with ****h****earts is perfectly ****l****egal!**

It was yet another perfect day at perfect Fuka Academy where all the perfect students were enjoying the aftermath of their happy ending. Well, save one Natsuki Kuga. You see, Natsuki, a blue haired, viridian eyed beauty, had been too busy saving the world and therefore lacked enough school credits to pass. Even Natsuki Kuga, who risked her life in order to ensure the world's balance, shouldn't be able to pass due to her delinquent status. And so, the femme fatale with shoulder long sapphire strands walked the halls with her usual Fuka uniform and her usual pout.

However, Natsuki could feel her other problem following her. During the catastrophic events, she realized that certain amber haired, ruby eyed, always troublesome Shizuru Fujino loved her. Unfortunately, Natsuki couldn't return Shizuru's feelings back to her. And thus, wearing the same bright yellow uniform with the same cardboard brown miniskirt, Shizuru began following Natsuki around. Constantly. Always. Yes, even in the restroom. At first, Natsuki tried to ignore such stalking, but the graduate refused to stop stalking her.

Natsuki easily paid the price for having such a popular figure follow her. Rumors had spread on how President Fujino began to stalk the femme fatale. There were rumors that the two had a lover's tiff and Natsuki refused to speak to Shizuru. Other rumors suggested that Shizuru had become the needy one in the relationship where as Natsuki played hard-to-get.

Then there were the rumors where one night, Natsuki and Shizuru met at a seedy motel. There, it is suggested that Natsuki began to take off her miniskirt, slowly. Then, President Fujino ran her thin fingers through Natsuki's blue strands and kissed them softly. Then came the suggestion that Shizuru unhooked Natsuki's black bra and began to massage her wonderful, full-

"Stop right there, you preview!"

"It's pervert, Haruka-chan!"

"As I was saying, you are in violation of 's policy! This fanfiction is rated T for Timid!"

"It's actually Teen, Haruka-chan!"

"Whatever! How dare you write smut like this, you dirty Peeking Trent!"

"It's peeping Tom, Haruka-chan!"

And the Narrator said, "Stop ruining the narrative by breaking the Fourth wall! Now leave and don't come back until I say so!"

(Ahem). As of today, Natsuki was up to her limit. Now, she wanted nothing more than to be rid of Shizuru's stalking, and possible theft of undergarments. One day, while walking through the lockers of Fuka Academy, Natsuki turned around and looked Shizuru in the eye.

"Okay, Shizuru." She asserted herself with a firm stance and a taut face. "Enough is enough. If you don't leave me alone, I might have to take a restraining order on you."

"Ara, ara." The president said in her perfect Kyoto-ben accent. "Does my Natsuki not like me following her around?"

The sapphire hair girl didn't take kindly to possessives, especially those that referred to her. She took a deep breath and began again.

"Could you please not talk like that? It really annoys me."

"Oh my! Would you ratha have me talkin' like thisss, my Natski?" The President said in a thick Southern drawl.

"No no no!" The femme fatale said quickly. "Japanese! Japanese!"

"Ara. Ara." Shizuru's quick change gave a great deal of relief to Natsuki, as well as many other fans. Still, Natsuki had to remain firm in her resolve.

"Look, Shizuru. I like you."

"Like me enough to kiss me?"

"Dammit!" Unfortunately, Natsuki had a terrible habit of losing her calm. "Stop twisting my words around! I mean it. I respect you, but if you keep following me, I don't think we can even talk as friends."

Shizuru was taken aback by this statement. She wasn't sure if she could lose Natsuki like that.

"Let's make a bet, my Natsuki."

"A bet?" The emerald eyed beauty repeated.

"Yes. If Natsuki will go on a date with me one evening, and she doesn't return my feelings, I will stop following her."

"Fair enough. But what do you get out of this deal?"

"Natsuki will have to hold hands with me while walking to class for one week." After Shizuru finished her sentence, the only word that could describe Natsuki's face was crimson. As the blood rushed to her face, she stuttered her words until she had finally settled down.

"Okay, fine! But I'm warning you, I can be pretty strong willed."

"How about Saturday at 5 P.M? I'll wait at my house, ara ara."

"It's a deal." Finally, Natsuki took control of the situation. For one, she finally had gotten things under her grasp.

"Natsuki?"

"What is it?"

"You're late for class." Okay, maybe she didn't have _everything_ under control.

"Dammit, Shizuru!" Natsuki sprinted for her next class. As Shizuru left the hall, no one noticed the little cat girl with a pair of midnight collectable panties on her head.

* * *

Mai Tohika led a fairly simple life. She worked part-time, she sang karaoke, she made ramen for a cat girl. For the most part, it was neither hard nor stressful. It the sort of mediocrity someone needed after the emotional stress of saving the world. Even in their new apartment, the orange haired, well-endowed girl had finished fresh ramen for her and her roommate. As she laid chopsticks on the bowls, she heard a loud knocking at her apartment door.

"Mikoto?" She asked curiously, expecting a response. The door's banging grew louder.

"Mikoto, if you're in an orange jumpsuit shouting 'Rasengan' again, I'm not letting you in."

The door burst open to find the cat-girl on her paws. At first, the feral one began to circle around Mai several times before finally stooping right below her. Mai looked curiously as her roommate began making odd gestures pointing outside the door.

"Nya. Nya-Nya. Nyaaaaa."

It was during these times Mai wished she hadn't resuscitated the girl that gave her so much pain. "I told you it doesn't work like that, Mikoto. If you want to speak to me, you have to speak normally."

"Nya! Nya-Nyaaa-Nya. Nya."

Mai sighed. She was running out of screen time, as usual. "Okay, sounds like...tea leaf."

There Mikoto gave a howl like a wolf and scratched her ear with her leg.

"Tea Leaf and Wolf. Oh! President and Natsuki..." Then Mikoto went to the refrigerator, grabbed several items including French Vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, cherries and nuts.

"I should never have told you how to make a sundae, should I?"

Then the cat-girl fixed up a rather eloquent dessert with dressings. Of which, she picked a single nut and showed it to her.

"Date? Oh, the President and Natsuki are going on a date. Wait, the President and Natsuki are going on a date?!"

Mikoto shook her head furiously.

"Well, that's good for them. I mean, it's none of our business, but-"

"Follow." The feral one said quickly.

"What?"

"Natsuki doesn't accept President as her mate. So I'm going to follow them."

Mai's imagination got the better of her. The last time Mikoto was let off her leash she ate several hot dogs without paying, ran over several civilians and got a 5 star rating from the Fuka Justice Department. Luckily, she didn't get caught. And since Mai was legally responsible for her (long story short: Mikoto was Mai's 'cousin'), she had to make sure that Mikoto didn't cause any more mayhem than usual.

"Uhh...I better go with you, just to be safe."

"Mai will follow?" Mikoto smiled genuinely.

"I will, but only if you promise me that you won't gather more people on this quest of yours."

"Mai will follow!" Mikoto cheered as she downed her fresh ramen.

And with a fanfare, the words, "**TOHIKA MAI has joined your party!"** appeared.

"Oh, good grief."


	2. 300 Yen per Text and Loving it!

Disclaimer: The day I own Mai Hime is the day that ShizNat becomes canon and central to the work.

(Heavy Techno Beat plays.)

_Wealth, Fame, Power_

_The woman who had acquired everything in this world, the Pirate Queen, Mashiro D. Roger._

_The words said at her execution sent people to the seas._

"_My wealth and treasures?"_

"_If you want it, I'll let you have it!"_

"_Look for it, I left it all in that place!"_

_Men now, chasing their dreams, head towards the Grand Line._

_The world now enters a Great Age of Pir-_

Wait. What do you mean it's the wrong opening? You mean you hacks gave me the wrong one? Oh this is just-

Just start the fanfiction!

**300 Yen per Text and Loving every minute of it!**

Mai and Mikoto diligently stalked the outside of Natsuki's apartment complex. Being very clever, they hid carefully in a thick green bush. Because everybody knows that orange hair with sun yellow school uniforms blend perfectly into a bush. As they waited outside, they watched as the sun began to carefully set into the distance. The building reflected the sun in all of its splendor and heavenly glow. In other words, it was perfect for dramatic confessions between lovers to take place and thus did.

"Oh, my dearest sweet! I cannot live without you!" one man cried out passionately.

"No, you are wrong! It is I who cannot live without you!" the woman responded shortly before crushing her face into the man's.

"Geez." Mai sighed as another thorn poked into her butt. "I know the sunset's beautiful, but give it a rest already."

"How much longer?" Mikoto's patience had worn thin as she began to do handstands.

"It's _your_ mission. You should have at least enough patience to deal with it!"

"Mai-chan?" A familiar smooth voice addressed the bush very casually.

"Who's there?" Mai whispered while restraining Mikoto to leap out.

"It's me, Chie."

Mai seemed to give a sigh of relief, know an old friend. "That's great! What are you doing here, Chie?"

"I should be asking you the same thing, Mai-chan. You and Mikoto, all alone, here in a bush."

Mai had realized that the rumors concerning her relationship with Mikoto to be the same vein as Shizuru and Natsuki, but she quickly batted said claims away.

"No, no, no! We're not doing that! We're just...um..."

"Look!" Mikoto's cattish voice broke the pace of the conversation to see the azure haired girl not storm or run out of her apartment as they were accustomed to seeing her do, but walked with ease. Mai almost forgot to hide seeing Natsuki in a different light.

Instead of the Fuuka uniform she wore or her biking suit, she wore a turquoise dress covered by a white, thin button up coat. The coat was made of thin lace as to reveal the dress' color. On her, she had the same demeanor…but...wait…was that make-up powder and lipstick!? Mai nearly passed out to such out of character dress-up. Quickly dragging Chie into their bush, the three girls gazed in awe as Natsuki glided gracefully in her bright red high heels.

"Is that...Kuga Natsuki?" Chie's rubbed her chin in a way that made it seem like she was making several random assumptions.

"We're...uh..." Mai needed to come up with an excuse quickly.

"Wolf doesn't accept president as mate, so they made a pact."

"Oh..." Chie grinned deviously. "So they're finally going at it. I wonder what took them so long. May I join your little observation?"

"No," Mai quickly rejected. "We already have too many people stalking her. We can't bring one more."

Chie easily stood up from the bush. "That's fine with you, Mai-chan. But, didn't you take into fact that you'll need to keep up with Kuga-san?" She accurately pointed to the motorcycle riding off into the distance. Mai and Mikoto gawked at each other, realizing the position they were in.

"I guess I didn't count on the fact since it was so close by." Mai sighed. She needed Chie's help.

"Lucky! I brought my car just in case. I'll help you on the one condition that we bring Aoi along."

"Yes!" Mikoto responded without Mai's consent. At this point, the orange haired girl would've usually given up, but some things were worth finding out.

"Hang on, I just need to text her." Chie took out her cell phone and quickly typed the messages into it as fast as her appendages would allow her. After a brief moment, a nearby cell phone rang as Mai and Mikoto looked to see the brown haired Aoi receiving the message. Only a foot away, Aoi couldn't possibly notice the girl texting behind her.

"Chie, do your parents pay your cell phone charges?"

"Every last yen," Chie responded. Curious, Mai decided to look into the conversation.

**Gossipgrl:** U there?

**Room-E: **Wat's up?

**Gossipgrl:** Shewlf n T-leaf gng out. Brn ur camera.

**Room-E: **Kodak momnt?

**Gossipgrl:** U bet.

Just when Mai thought things couldn't get worse, the words "**SENOU AOI and HARADA CHIE have joined your party!**" appeared out of nowhere.

"Ehh?" Mai cried out.

* * *

As the cylinders of her motorcycle drowned out any other noise, Natsuki thought of the strategy to get rid of Shizuru once and for all. However, as she swung a sharp curve at the corner, the sun glowing on part of her helmet, she knew she would regret losing Shizuru as a friend. Shizuru, despite all her sarcasm, all her teasing and all of her casualness, really helped Natsuki during a troubled time. With deep blue strands fluttering in the winds, she thought of how Shizuru had gotten greedy and how she violated her. Then again, Natsuki really didn't care about Shizuru violating her as she did about losing her.

An elongated truck horn warned Natsuki at the last moment to swerve out of its way. Clearly, Shizuru had become a persistent thought in Natsuki's head and she needed to resolve this, one way or another.

Finding her way through the ancient buildings of an old settlement, she parked the motorcycle on the nearest street and checked herself in its window. Natsuki figured if she could distract Shizuru with all of make-up, she could find a way to win this bet. Finding only a few strands sticking out, she patted her dress down and walked towards the building where Shizuru said she would wait.

Old memories bubbled up in Natsuki. The first time she saw Shizuru threaten Haruka and Yukino sent shocks through her body. She felt afraid, seeing Shizuru act obsessive over her. Frankly, it was that side of Shizuru, manipulative, dangerous and threatening, that Natsuki didn't want to see again. Unfortunately, that might have meant that Natsuki herself was the source of all that evil.

Natsuki, after walking the stone pathway, finally arrived at the settlement with paper doors. She caught a figure inside doing her hair into a tight bun roll. At first, Natsuki considered calling out to her. However, a part of her said to stay back and wait.

"Natsuki?" The president called out in her Kyoto-ben accent. "Ara, ara. I'll be there in a minute. Please be patient." Natsuki hesitated for a moment before doing as Shizuru requested. Finally, the paper doors slid open revealing a magazine model pretending to be Shizuru.

Shizuru's choice of clothes made Natsuki nervous in more ways than one. Her eyes widened to see the scarlet dress tied in the back, revealing Shizuru's cleavage. Her mouth sat, opened wide, seeing Shizuru's high heels that looked to be made with the highest class of leather. But what really stole Nasuki's mind was Shizuru's face. The face of the woman she had known during her time at Fuuka academy wore subtle blush, light eyeliner and lipstick as red as Shizuru's dress or Natsuki's face. The sapphire eyed girl tried to regain her composure and shook herself out of the stupor.

"Umm...you look good, Shizuru." Natsuki never had this much trouble talking before.

"Natsuki looks especially cute today," Shizuru responded in her careless fashion.

"Well, let's get in your car." Natsuki wasn't sure how this night would end, but the sooner she got this out of the way, the better. However, she noticed a slight grin on Shizuru's face. Personally knowing Shizuru, Natsuki knew it was neither a calm grin nor a happy grin. Rather, Shizuru grinned slyly, just as a fox grinned after catching its prey.

"Ara, ara," Shizuru responded. "Doesn't Natsuki know that I have no car?"

Natsuki quickly realized the implications of this. Natsuki had feared that riding in the front seat with Shizuru would have created unnecessary touching. Now the only method of transportation was riding on Natsuki's motorcycle _with Shizuru holding her all the way through._

"Then how do you get to school every day?" Her emerald eyes grew wide with shock, unsure of how to respond to the new situation.

"I hitchhike." Natsuki mentally slapped herself. Of course Shizuru would hitchhike. Her nature practically screamed of it.

As she grumpily led Shizuru down the stone path, their heels clicking with each step, Natsuki wondered if Shizuru thought about the time they confronted each other. Seeing each other in their most vulnerable states felt like it had taken place a lifetime ago, when in actuality, it had only been a few months. Natsuki didn't want to bring up such painful memories at such an awkward time. For now, both girls kept silent as they both made their way to the motorcycle. She turned and stared at Shizuru's hair, tied perfectly in a bun with small pins. Just taking one of those pins off might have brought the entire thing down.

She reached for the helmet and threw it to Shizuru.

"Here. I don't want to mess up your hair."

Shizuru smiled pleasantly. Somehow, it felt nice to see her like this. "Natsuki is so kind to me. Aren't you afraid of getting hurt?"

"I'll live," she responded fearlessly. However, when she finally mounted her bike, the president slid up to Natsuki and held her tightly. Even before starting the bike, Natsuki's blood rushed through her veins. Her breathing became heavier as she tried to keep her calm. Shizuru's arms were so smooth, even through all the clothing. The way the fingers interlocked right on Natsuki's navel sent shivers down her spine. Yet, through all the panic and anxiety, calm settled on Natsuki. She didn't understand her or Shizuru's feelings at the moment.

But as Natsuki started her motorcycle, she resolved to understand her feelings by the end of the night. That she promised.


	3. Metal Gear Mai Hime

**Disclaimer: **If I had a million dollars, I'd buy the rights to Mai HiME.

(**A/N:** I'd like to give a big shoutout to **ManiazAzn **for doing a great job beta reading this fanfiction.)

_The maidens who assemble in Fuka Academy  
have such angelic smiles that  
ignorance passes through and goes away.  
Their pure bodies and minds are wrapped in dark-colored school uniforms.  
The pleats on their skirts shouldn't be noticeable.  
Their white sailor collars should always be tidy.  
Walking slowly is preferred here.  
Fuka Academy  
Is a garden for maidens._

Wait, isn't that from another series? Who switched the script?

"Forgive me, Kami-sama," a nun whispered. "But I love this series so much!"

**Metal Gear Mai Hime**

Had Mai known she would be spending her entire evening in bushes, she would've worn something more comfortable. Sadly, being unprepared, Mai and Mikoto hid among various things in order to keep track of Natsuki and Shizuru. Luckily, Chie's driving somehow got them there in one piece.

Mai and Mikoto, once again hiding in foliage, watched the two girls rest at a coffee shop frequented by university students. Mai couldn't believe the president would dress so formally for a night out. Natsuki seemed to be distracted as Chie suggested.

As they sat there, Mikoto and Mai pulled out their walkie-talkies.

"Chie-san, are you there?" Mai asked.

"Of course, Mai-chan," Chie responded. Mai looked around and saw a thumbs-up coming from a trash can.

"Hi, Chie!" Mikoto nearly gave away the position as they hid in the bushes. Mai managed to restrain the cat girl long enough to prevent the tactical error.

"Aoi, are you in position?"

Aoi gave as much as a signal as she could as she hid in the confines of a cardboard box. Slowly, Mai and Mikoto watched over the president's and Natsuki's meeting. As it appeared, both were waiting to be served their drinks. However, when Shizuru began to rub Natsuki's hand, Chie gave the signal.

"Snake? Snake, can you hear me?" Chie whispered through the mike.

"I hear you loud and clear, Otacon." Aoi, for some reason, played along with the charade.

"Go in there and see what's happening!" Slowly, Aoi crawled in her cardboard box. Every time someone passed by, she put the box down and sat still. In that way, she carefully approached the table where the two sat at inconspicuously. Just as Aoi neared the patio, a witch's voice sneered.

"Hey, Solid Skank," Nao barked with her usual cynicism.

"!" Aoi's chime rang through the street as she ran back to the bushes with only Nao noticing.

"Snake, what are you doing? The mission's going to fail!" Chie cried out through the mike.

"I'm sorry, but I can't-oh no!" Aoi found the box removed from her body to see Nao staring down at her.

"What are you doing?" the scarlet haired harlot gazed down on her. As Aoi covered herself with her arms, hoping no one would notice her, a trash can appeared out of nowhere and crashed down on both of them, sending them flying into a nearby bush.

"What the hell? First I meet Snake, and then Oscar the Grouch attacks me? What's going on here?" Everybody in the bush feared Nao's temper. In an attempt to sway the conversation, Mai spoke first.

"Well, what are you doing here, Nao? Going to terrorize more boys?" Mai never realized it, but she could be quite the bitch if she wanted to.

"How's are your crabs, Nao-chan?" Chie added with a smirk.

"Just fine, thank you! Anyway, I came here to get a key from you, roomie."

"Wait...I thought you graduated your second year, Nao?" Mai asked with suspicion.

"Well, when you're busy punishing men for being pigs, you don't exactly...attend class as often as you need to graduate."

Chie shook her head cheerfully. "You're a great role model for little girls everywhere, you know that, Nao?"

Aoi looked at her, unable to make a joke. "What happened to yours?"

"I lost it." Nao's curt response suggested something more.

"In some guy's pants?" Chie suggested.

"What makes you think I have it?" Aoi said innocently.

"Oh, come on!" The scarlet haired witch whined loudly.

Pointing to Chie, Nao angrily replied, "_Those_ stains on _your_ bed mean you're either screwing her, screwing yourself while you think of screwing her or dreaming of screwing her. Either way, it's your apartment so you better have a key."

"Nao-chan!" Aoi cried out with a blushed face. "That's not-I mean, that's-"

"Oh?" Chie replied with a smirk. "Does Aoi think about me often?"

"Well, I...," The two looked at each other until Nao broke the conversation once more.

"What are you doing anyway? Wait…is that...Kuga?" Nao's perception gave way to a very dangerous situation. The group wanted to prevent Nao's involvement with the plan.

"Natsuki doesn't accept President as mate, so they have a wager," Mikoto blurted out without thinking.

Suddenly, a grin came over Nao. Other times when she grinned at other's expense, this curve of the mouth showed no mercy or content. It showed pure evil, pure malice waiting to be unleashed. Mai could feel the tension rising from the area as the bush felt dark and cold. More and more, she could hear the invisible sounds of a church chorus and sharp violin playing louder and louder. In fact, there _was_ music playing!

"Where is that sound coming from?" Mai whispered looking around her.

"I think it's coming from Nao!" Chie responded with surprise.

"Nao-chan, does this happen a lot?" Aoi blinked with confusion. Nao shrugged.

"You get used to it."

"Well, it's giving away our position, so turn it off!" Mai cried out, as the violins began to deafen her ears.

"Only if you let me join your party."

"Okay, okay! Fine! But turn off that racket; it reminds me of that crappy 'Omen' remake." Mai sighed in relief when the music finally stopped, only to see the text rear its head once more.

"**SINGLE WHITE WHORE** **has joined your party!**"

"Hey!" Nao cried.

"**YUUKI NAO has joined your party!**"

"Much better."

* * *

Being this close to Natsuki, Shizuru found an inner calm. She wondered if they would ever talk on common ground again. Still, even if this was their last day and Natsuki didn't want to see her again, Shizuru felt good waiting at a table with her. The sun's orange glow nearly set and shined through the coffee shop windows. The azure-haired girl in her adorable green dress looked distant, slightly glancing back at Shizuru. As they sat there, Shizuru kept her hand in check, restraining it from caressing Natsuki softly.

"So, you come here often?" Natsuki's deep assertive voice brought joy to Shizuru.

"I do. This place makes some good tea and sometimes I buy some of it here," Shizuru lied with great ease. In truth, this was her first visit to the tea shop as she rarely liked the common taste of corporate brands. Still, it wouldn't have been appropriate to invite Natsuki inside so...suddenly. Shizuru thanked the waiter as she and Natsuki received both of their drinks. Shizuru eyed how Natsuki ordered a blend of coffee in a Styrofoam cup while Shizuru blew on her tea.

"That coffee is quite hot, Natsuki. Would you like me to blow it for you?" she smiled, while holding her own cup. Natsuki's presence calmed her more than any chamomile tea in the world.

"No thanks, I like hot coffee." Natsuki looked so cute when she tried to be independent.

"Oh? Natsuki likes hot coffee?" Shizuru put her hand in front of her mouth for a slight giggle.

"Yes! In fact, if we were at my place, we'd be having hot coffee right now. Well, and maybe some tea."

Shizuru felt surprised at this exchange of dialogue. At first, she simply teased Natsuki. Now, she felt as if the girl across from her finally recognized her. Her scarlet eyes did not shift for a moment. At once, her heart began to race; quite odd considering how she had ordered the least caffeinated tea they sold and hadn't even taken a sip from it. No, she realized the rush of blood to her cheeks; her unmoving eyes and her drumming heart were all due to Natsuki's simple compliment. She smiled as she reached her hand for Natsuki.

If anything, she just wanted to touch those calloused hands, always gripped in a fist.

Of course, Natsuki caught sight of this. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Natsuki instinctively pulled her hand back, as well as the hand holding the coffee.

This, of course, led to no good.

"Ahh! You little brat! You poured coffee all over me!" a man in a business suit cried out. Natsuki whipped around to find the scream coming from the customer sitting right behind her.

Shizuru beat Natsuki to the delivery. "I'm sorry. But I did say it was hot."

The man wiped his face, revealing a receding hairline and thick bifocals. "I should sue you for spilling this hot coffee on me. In fact, I'm going to sue this entire restaurant for making the coffee so hot in the first place. Then, they'll have to put little disclaimers explaining how hot the coffee is and I'll be rich!"

Shizuru would not hear any more of this man's backtalk. As she stepped forward gallantly, she felt a pull on her wrist. She looked back and slowed down, seeing Natsuki's face.

Then Natsuki grabbed Shizuru's tea cup and spilled it to the man's face.

"Ahh!" The man cried out as he was being blinded by tea.

"Run, Shizuru! He can't sue us if he can't catch us!"

Shizuru, even through all the frantic motion of outrunning the waiters and the waitresses, she felt time slow down. Even as several cries called out, Shizuru's attention was looking at Natsuki. Natsuki, who not only protected her, but pulled her along, She couldn't comprehend happiness until she found Natsuki. Then, as all the men and women from the restaurant chased after her, she wished the moment would never end.

"Ara, ara."


	4. Shopping Center Vermin

Disclaimer: I'd say I own Mai HiME, but the people at Sunrise might have lawyers, so I…pretty much don't own anything.

**Laboratory of Alyssa Searrs**

**South Jersey Shore**

In a lone mansion, atop a high mountain during a rainy stormy night, she addressed her assistant.

"Gentlemen!" Alyssa Searrs spoke.

"Yes, Oujo-sama?" Miyu inquired, being the only one there.

"For far too long, we have been ignored by the writers of and have had no screen time since the series ended! That time has come to an end. Behold my creation!"

Alyssa pushed the door open to reveal a giant floating space station.

"Now, all FanFiction shall have me in them. It is time to unleash it."

As the space station began to float, Alyssa undid the single ribbon of her hair, allowing the space station to float. As her hair glowed with a blinding radiance, she gave one single order.

"Miyu, if anyone makes a Super Saiyan joke, kill them."

"Yes, Oujo-sama."

**Shopping Center Vermin**

The group of now five tailgated the couple as they walked side by side inside the shopping mall. They stared suspiciously at the two as they noticed that Natsuki didn't mind rubbing shoulders with the President.

The mall itself wasn't much to look at. Bright purple colors, Japanese pop playing over head and dispensable underwear sold in vending machines all made up the characteristics of a normal shopping mall.

"This reminds me of the first Kevin Smith film I saw where I didn't laugh," Mai whispered while trailing the two.

Using the newspapers as individual covers, they walked side by side following the couple through the mall.

"Smile now, President," Nao once again grinned evilly. "Because in a little while, I'll be the harbinger of your destruction!" As she smiled, sharp violins and a chorus began singing again, turning all the attention, save Natsuki and the president, to Nao.

"Nao, will you cut the music, for Pete's sake?" Mai cried as the rest of them circled her.

"Fine, fine." Nao stopped the music short as they chased after the couple. Hiding in a bush, they watched the two go in.

"They're going into a Victoria's Secret." Chie whispered.

Nao smirked. "I knew the president had dirty thoughts, but damn!"

Aoi continued to take pictures with her KODAK camera, as Mikoto urged to press forward.

"Follow."

Mai sighed. "No, Mikoto. Why would we be going to an underwear store in the middle of the night?"

Chie looked the group awkwardly. "Come to think about it, what kind of date idea is going to Victoria's Secret?"

Mai already had an answer in mind. "Well, Natsuki does collect underwear, so it'd probably be logical to-"

"Tohika?"

The group turned to face a familiar blond haired male towering over a short, red-haired girl.

"Tate? Shiho?" Mai asked, surprised. "What are you two doing here?"

Shiho jumped right at the question. "Onee-chan was just taking me to get me a Wii. Right, Onee-chan? You're going to get me a Nintendo Wii, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Tate reassured. "Why are you in a bush, Tohika?"

"None of your business," Mai pouted, looking the other way.

"Oh? What if it is my business?" Tate retorted.

"Then, you'd be butting into my business, moron."

"Then maybe I want to be part of this business, fat boobs!"

Both turned to each other and shot daggers with their eyes.

"Idiot!" Mai started.

"Loser!" Tate retorted.

"Selfish bastard!"

"Charitable bitch!"

"Sack of crap!"

"Silicone boobs!"

"Pile of s-"

"Oi, oi, oi!" Chie tried to calm them down. "Keep it clean. This is rated T, remember?"

Nao asked, "What's going on with you two anyway?"

**"None of your business!"** Tate and Mai shouted at the same time. They both turned away from each other and stormed off in opposite directions.

"Mai, come back!" Mikoto shouted.

Chie signaled the group to stop. "Give them 30 seconds, tops."

_30 seconds later..._

"Tohika!" Tate shouted running back at break neck speed.

"Tate!" Mai ran with tears in her eyes.

"Tohika!"

"Tate!" They ran into each other's arms, crying. As they passionately met their lips towards each other, the entire mall, except Shizuru and Natsuki of course, clapped and cheered.

"Baka, Onee-chan," Shiho dismissed as she sat with the rest of the group.

"Want to join our party?" Mai said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "We're following the president and Natsuki. They're on a date."

"Ehh?" Tate jumped back. "Two girls on a date? Isn't that kinda weird?"

"Not really." Shiho tugged on Tate's arm. "Remember when that man stalked me and I told him, 'No lolicon'? Remember, Onee-chan?"

"Well, I guess I could. I've always wondered about those two myself. Okay, we'll join."

The words, "**TATE YUUICHI**** and LOLICON have joined your party!**"

"Hey!" Shioh shouted.

"**MUNAKATA SHIHO has joined your party**. Happy now?"

"Thank you."

* * *

As they walked around the lingerie shop, Natsuki couldn't help but notice the stares Shizuru gave her. The vibrant ruby eyes followed her closely and lovingly. Before, Natsuki would have swatted said eyes away. However, she now felt a genuine sense of comfort when the followed her. Natsuki's emerald eyes began to peer into Shizuru's. They stared at each other for a while until they realized they were doing nothing but looking at each other. Shizuru giggled, and for once Natsuki laughed right alongside her.

"I gotta admit, Shizuru, you've got some pretty odd ideas for a date." Of course, Natsuki didn't mind being at a lingerie store, but most girls her age didn't collect as much as her.

"Do you not like this store?" Once again, Shizuru's Kyoto-ben accent omitted a feathery feeling towards Natsuki.

"It's not that. I'm just not sure whether or not you're doing this for me or you." As she batted her blue strands away, she noticed a particular pair of panties on a shelf. At first, she didn't reach for it, but Shizuru spotted Natsuki's hesitation.

"Do you see something that you like?"

She could've hidden this fact, but knowing Shizuru, Natsuki confessed.

"Well," Natsuki replied as she picked up a pair of black satin panties. "I've been looking for this pair to add into my collection for a long time, and actually seeing them here is sort of shocking."

"I think they would look good on Natsuki. Would you like to try them on?" The azure-haired girl caught up to the president's tricks. However, she decided it would be best to play along.

"Alright, but just this once." She walked casually into the dressing room, taking a pair of matching bra with her. Natsuki would've usually felt embarrassed at such a thing, but the awkwardness disappeared and something else replaced it. Natsuki couldn't figure it out, but it seemed to be meeting with Shizuru again. She liked being with her despite all the teasing. As she undid her dress and unhooked her bra, Shizuru suddenly whispered, "Does Natsuki need help with that?"

Natsuki's face turned bright red. "Don't you even think about coming in here!"

Shizuru, looking through the thin veil asked with a smile, inquired, "What would you do if I did?"

"Then I'd...I'd...I'd make you sorry!" She bit off before finally coming out in her undergarments. Natsuki imagined what she'd look like in this, but actually wearing it brought a sense of exhilaration. The satin felt soft on her skin, rather than just snapping or tugging to get a fit on. The color itself contrasted well on her skin. True black on pale white looked rather nice and left something to the imagination. However, she never expected to see Shizuru's face in a state of shock. To see someone like Shizuru lose her composure was…well, different.

"They look beautiful." Shizuru smiled once again, trying not to stare.

"Oh, go on," Natsuki replied as she turned around to reveal everything.

"Why not get them?" Her Kyoto-ben accent cracked a little as she continued to stare.

"No, they're too expensive. I'd have to go without food for at least two weeks." Natsuki returned to the dressing room and began to put her suit back on.

"I can pay for them."

Natsuki's head suddenly burst out from behind the curtain. "You would? Wait…who is this for? Me or you?"

Oddly enough, Natsuki smiled when she heard this. The smile itself mixed with irritation and suspicion of Shizuru's intention. However, Natsuki couldn't help but feel glad someone would do this for her.

"Don't be silly!" Shizuru grinned with her hands together. "This is for you. However, if Natsuki decides to wear it in public..."

"Jerk," Natsuki pouted. She finally came out of the dressing room, fully clothed, and handed Shizuru the undergarments. As they left the store, the panties and bra in a paper bag, Natsuki looked at Shizuru.

"Hey, thanks," she said, staring with her brilliant emerald eyes.

"You're welcome."

"Konichiwa, bitches!" A man came from out of nowhere and stared at both the girls. The man might have been homeless; he was certainly dressed like one. He wore a gaudy yellow jacket with a black hoodie with blond hair falling through the cap. He was followed by another man, donned with a thick beard, a thick face, and a thick body. Even though he was much shorter than the other man, he wore a cap with the same black strands of hair falling out.

"Hello. My name is Jay, and this is my non-homosexual life partner, Silent Bob. And we're here to offer you some of our product."

"Excuse me?" Natsuki asked with a suspicious look.

"We're talking about putting the blunt in Blunt man, putting the yes in "I did inhale," putting the chronic in pimp chronicles and making everyday 420. Are you ladies interested?"

"Shizuru, do you know what they're talking about?" the blue haired girl quietly asked her companion.

"I believe they're talking in a much different language. Let us go somewhere else." They left together, gaining the momentum of fun with each passing moment.

* * *

"What the hell is up with this country? I figured this be a gold mine for selling our product. Isn't that right, Silent Bob?"

"..."

"I mean, you look at these signs and you think someone's smoking something, right? What's the point of learning Japanese when people don't buy our product?"

"..."

"I hear you. Someone else must be selling the stuff. We gotta get to them and take them out."

"I'm going home."

"Hey! If you're bailing give me back my weed!"

(**A/N:** I do not own Jay and Silent Bob. Jay and Silent Bob owned by the imagination of director Kevin Smith. Oddly enough, I also do not own the South Jersey shore.)


	5. Priestesses of October

Disclamer: Okay, okay, I admit it! I don't own Mai HiME.

(**A/N: Warning: **The following fanfiction is not for those who can't tolerate satire of their favorite Yuri titles. If you are one of those people, please read something else, probably by Tsuyazakura Kouyuki)

_Long ago in a distant land,_

_I, Aku, unleashed an unspeakable evil._

_But a foolish Samurai warrior wielding a bamboo sword_

_Stepped forth to oppose me._

_Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal_

_In time where my evil is law._

_Now, the fool seeks to return to the past and undo future that is_

_Aku._

**Gotta get back. Back to past.**

**Takeda Jack.**

**Watch out, now!**

**Gotta get back. Back to the past.**

**Takeda Jack.**

**_Priestesses of October_**

It wasn't long before the gang trailed the couple heading into a movie theatre. When they entered the doors together, the caravan of stalkers looked up at the list of movies now playing.

"What movie are they going to see?" Mai turned to the group, trying to find an answer that wouldn't be there.

"Who knows?" Tate shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh! Oh!" Shiho pulled on Tate's arm furiously, "I bet they're going to see the new Pokémon movie, right Onee-chan?"

"Is that what they want…or what _you_ want?" Chie asked with a smirk. Shiho responded by sticking her tongue out at Chie.

"No, no," Nao chimed in, pointing at the screen. "If they want each other so bad, they're probably going to see how it's done. It's probably Shoujo Sect."

"But that's hentai!" Aoi cried out loud.

"Lion King," Mikoto urged.

"Well whatever it is, we'd better-"

"Tokiha-san?" Mai turned around only to find Reito looking at her with a smile.

"Reito-san!"

"What are you doing here with this big group? Hello, Tate."

"Hey."

"Well, we're going to-"

"Going to spy on Natsuki and Shizuru, Mai HiME?"

Mai simply cringed from hearing that sneering voice once more.

"Nagi? What are you doing here?" Mai asked the small boy.

Nagi cracked his knuckles and stretched his shoulders. "Well, it's been very boring for me these past few weeks so I thought I would stop by and check how things are going."

"So, you want to know about the president and Natsuki, too," Nao quipped. Nagi jumped back at this before gaining his composure.

"That's right. And as long as I'm here, I-"

It was at this moment that Nagi caught sight of Reito. As they looked at each other, they turned away, pretending that nothing was the matter. Even though the way they were acting clearly indicated such.

"Oh! Hey...Lord Kokuyou. How's it going?"

Reito rubbed his neck. "Good, good. I see that you're...ah...doing well."

Mai stared at them curiously. She whispered to the person at her side, "What happened?"

"Someone wrote a fanfic about them," Chie whispered back.

"So?"

"With lemon," Chie said without missing a beat.

"**Oooh...**" The group said in unison.

Mai snapped back,"Is there anyone who the fans won't write about?"

"Yeah," Nao smirked. "You and Tate."

"Well that's a relief-Hey!" Tate's train of thought paused, hearing this.

"What's wrong with us?" Mai shouted. "We've got plenty of appeal! I'm outgoing, smart, beautiful, responsible and helpful!"

"Yeah!" Tate yelled out. "And I'm conflicted, can't make a commitment, usually kind of slow on things and...don't usually-umm..."

"Just shut up, baka Onee-chan."

"And will you stop calling me Onee-chan! That's a mistranslation; you're calling me your older sister!"

"Really?" Shiho said, much to her disbelief. "I could have sworn three beta readers would've picked that up."

Mai had her complaints as well. "Yeah, why didn't anyone notice my name was mispelled earlier? My name's Mai Tokiha, not Tohika!"

Chie shook her head. "Forget about the writer's lack of attention for now! They're getting away! Quick, into the movie theater!"

* * *

Admittedly, Natsuki was starting to understand Shizuru. It seemed like the older girl took control of everything, when in reality she just kept a cool head. Natsuki thought that maybe Shizuru didn't act that way on purpose. Maybe she didn't know when to stop. As they walked up to the ticket vendor, they looked at all the potential movies to go to.

"What would Natsuki like to see?" Shizuru's voice came floating out of her mouth with ease. Natsuki, unsure, looked at the various movie listings.

"Did you have anything in mind?" She pulled her blue strands back, stumped at the situation.

"What about that one, Natsuki?" For the first time tonight, Natsuki felt in control. She didn't feel pressured and the decision was entirely hers.

"Nah, I've heard about that movie. Too much product placement," Natsuki stated while carrying her new **Victoria's Secret **undergarments, which were now 50 percent softer.

"Do you mind product placement?" Shizuru asked, checking on her perfectly applied **L'Oreal** face powder.

"I dunno. To me, seeing nothing but Pizza Hut signs really ruins the mood," Natsuki replied, swishing her beautifully tailored **Calvin Klein **dress around a bit. "I got it! We'll see that one!"

As she and Shizuru walked up to the ticket vendor, Natsuki made the choice of movie for the evening.

"Oh!" the vender spoke, "Hello, President Fujino. Here are the tickets you ordered."

Natsuki stood in horror as she looked at the tickets, seeing the exact movie she wanted at the exact same time stamped on them.

"You-! How did you-! You planned this all along, didn't you?" Natsuki shot an accusing look to Shizuru, her voice spluttering, trying to get a hold on the words before Shizuru managed to predict them, too.

"Yes, I did. But, if you had decided to see something else, I would've thrown away the tickets."

Natsuki paused for a moment, considering Shizuru's words. In a way, Natsuki chose the movie, not Shizuru. Who would've imagined that they ended up picking the same movie as one another? Natsuki didn't know whether to hit Shizuru over the head or invite her to the theatre. Luckily, the latter thought won out and they entered the building together.

Natsuki smacked her fist into her palm. "Okay! But I'm deciding on the snacks. You got that?"

* * *

"Where are they?" Mai asked, pushing against the crowd.

"Wait!" Chie hushed, concentrating on an invisible noise. "Several product placement ads were made, all without the permission of the original company!"

"The bastards!" Tate added.

"And if I'm correct, they're headed into theatre number 7!"

"Right!" Mai declared. "We'll go see the movie in theatre number 7! Let's go get tickets!"

As all the girls and Nagi left to get tickets, Tate whispered over to Reito.

"Reito, do you know this movie? I've never heard about it before in my life!"

Reito acted as calm as usual. "I heard it's based on a Yuri manga."

"Oh," Tate replied. "That's nice."

"By Kaishaku."

"Oh God no!"

* * *

Natsuki felt her senses being pummeled in with the chaos on screen. While the blue haired girl of the school began to revive the smaller blonde girl, the boy in the giant robot began to shout attack names. "**Ichiru Kotoretsu: Thunder Destructive Wave!"**

As the darkened sky began to glow due the fresh colored rainbow from the attack's aftermath, the blue haired girl on screen kissed her blond counterpart, whispering the words "Happy Birthday."

Natsuki leaned in. "Shizuru, what the hell is this crap?"

* * *

Sitting comfortably in the back, the group tried to keep a track on Natsuki and Shizuru…and failed. Rather, they were caught up in the events of the movie and began to give their opinions of it. Out loud. For everyone to hear.

Mai stared at the movie, her attention completely drawn to it, and whispered, "I really like these two girls, but I wish there wasn't so much mecha. It's really ruining the story for me."

Mikoto glared at the screen. "I don't like the nurse. She looks stupid, nyaa."

"Onee-chan-I mean, Onii-chan!," Shiho cried out loud. "I don't like that green-haired man. He thinks ecchi thoughts."

"Do something already!" Nao shouted, her gaze locked on screen. "Rip her shirt off again!"

"Jesus," Tate whined, rubbing his head. "Giant robots, magic AND schoolgirls? This movie makes no sense!"

"It could be worse, Tate-san," Reito smiled as he enjoyed himself.

"How?"

"We could be watching that new Yu-Gi-Oh! spin-off."

"...I'll shut up now."

* * *

The azure-haired girl had just restrained her blonde counterpart and began to force herself onto her. As the blonde's cries and protests filled the theatre, Natsuki's stomach churned, an uncomfortable knot forming. For the longest time, she remembered how afraid she was of Shizuru and how the situation could have turned out. The motorcyclist's hair began to stand on end as she watched the scene play out. At times, she her gaze fell off-screen, staring off into space.

As the president reached for her companion's hand, Natsuki pulled it away.

* * *

"Yeah!" Nao cried out to the screen. "Do her and do her good!"

Mai stared at the girl with one eye twitching. "Nao, did anyone ever tell you that you need professional help?"

"Several times. Take it off!"

Meanwhile, Shiho forced Tate's hand to cover up her eyes from the more explicit scenes.

"Onii-chan, is it over?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

Finally, Tate moved his hand away. "Okay, it's over."

"How can you tell?" Shiho asked.

"There's a giant robot on screen. Nothing happens when there's a giant robot on screen."

* * *

At long last, the scene became that of the dying girl confessing her eternal love to the other girl, being cradled in a loving manner as she died in an overly dramatic and extended fashion. _"You're my number one, a real princess, and the sun that generously shines on me. The moon is able to be luminous because there's a sun. That's why it wishes to be more beautiful and elegant than anything else."_

The group, supposedly stalking the president and her date, split into two groups similar to the movie audience: those on the brink of tears and those on the brink of leaving the movie theatre.

"That's so sad!" Mai sniffled, as she blew her nose into a tissue.

"Why is Mai crying?" Mikoto asked. "I thought sun priestess won."

"Wahahaha!" Shiho had become a blubbering mess as she wiped her tears with her pigtails. "I can understand her! Why can't she be with the one she loves?"

"'The sun and the moon, forever to be apart'," Chie recited. "Truly that is the way of forbidden love."

"Well said (sniff) Chie!" Aoi sobbed.

"Reito!" Tate whispered. "This movie doesn't make any sense! Why would they make the other girl the villain? Doesn't that sort of mess up their plans?"

Reito shrugged. "I think it was meant to be a plot twist."

"But think about it!" Tate's patience with the movie, worn extremely thin already, was starting to break. "If you get the other girl to join you, isn't that like having a double agent or something? The whole POINT is to kill her and they _let her join_? It's like letting someone you know that is unreliable see all of your plans! And further more, why is there so much mecha in a magically themed movie? And, why don't the people do anything after the giant robots attack? Isn't that sort of-"

"Shh!" Shiho cried out loud. "Baka Onii-chan! Your damn logic is keeping me from enjoying this movie!"

"Aren't we forgetting something?" Mai thought out loud for a second, only to break down in tears as the heart-rending confessional continued.

* * *

Though the more timid of the two, the girl on screen returned the feelings. "_The sun will shine because it's with the moon. It can smile, it can be happy. Because the moon teaches the sun how to shine, it can work harder to become brighter. For the sake of the moon."_

"God," Natsuki snickered in the comfort of her seat, "the dialogue here is so corny."

"I think it's sweet," Shizuru said with an arm slung around Natsuki's shoulder.

"I didn't say it wasn't sweet. I just think the way that they talk is really weird. You'd never hear that in _real_ life." The femme fatale began to throw her snacks at the screen to show her displeasure.

"Really? I think it isn't meant to be real. Rather, they're expressing what all forbidden lovers want to say to each other." Natsuki paused. She really didn't think of it like that before. However, Shizuru was right in her own way. The dialogue had no place in the real world. Rather, the fantasy wrote all the feelings the people wanted to say to each other but couldn't. In a way, it was beautiful. It even touched Natsuki.

"Would Natsuki like to hear those words?" Shizuru suggested as she put her hand on Natsuki's thigh. Normally, Natsuki would've swatted away, but instead she looked into Shizuru's eyes and stared at the beautiful rubies. As their faces neared each other, Natsuki quickly grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it into her mouth. She sank back into her seat and stewed into her own cowardice.

* * *

"That movie sucked!" Tate complained as he exited the theatre. "I told you we should've went to see that movie by studio Sunrise. You know, Code Grease: The Douche of the Rebellion."

"Actually Tate-san, I believe it's Lelouch of the Rebellion."

"Douche, Lelouch, same thing."

Shiho pouted a little while walking in front of him. "Onii-chan's just jealous that the girl won out."

"No I'm not!" Tate yelled. "I'm pissed that the movie made no sense!"

Mai sighed and looked at Tate. "Really, you should be more open-minded and— …wait. Weren't we supposed to do something?"

The group quieted down and thought hard on the topic.

"Oh no!" Nao exclaimed. "We were so caught up by that crappy movie that we forgot about the president and her bitch!"

"Quick!" Chie declared. "Back to the car! There's only one last place they can go to at this time of night."

"A bar?" Aoi suggested.

"A coffee shop?" Reito asked.

"A strip club?" Nao inquired.

Everyone turned and stared at Nao, various expressions sitting on their faces.

"What?" Nao defended her thought. "It's reasonable. There's also a bath-house across-"

"No," Chie interrupted. "There's only one place left: home."


	6. My Wood Tree is Hard

Disclaimer: Alas, the dawn breaks. For it is Sunrise which Mai Hime belongs to.

**1936**

**The Peruvian Jungle**

She needed to time this just right. One wrong move and she would set off a world of booby traps. She took the weighted sack of bearings in one hand and was prepared to switch it for the gold idol. Slowly, she grabbed the idol and quickly switched it with the bag. The archeologist sighed as she stepped back, only to hear the rumbling sound.

Quickly she ran to the gap, and saw her partner on the other side.

"Midori-chan! Throw the idol!"

Midori, looking at the falling rubble, threw the idol. As she prepared to jump, she realized her assistant began to run away.

"Bye, Midori-chan!"

Angrily, she took out her whip and swung across, almost falling into the pit before her. She rolled through the door. However, she quickly went back to grab her fedora and placed it neatly on her head. As she walked out, she gasped to see her assistant stabbed many times by wooden pikes.

"Hmm. Shows what happens when you don't know the traps."

Luckily, she spotted the golden idol by his foot.

"Yoink." Then, as she began to run forward, she heard another rumbling noise. She whipped around only to be chased out of the exit by a giant bolder.

As she finally landed out the temple, she gasped at the fresh air, as well as several Peruvian natives aiming blowdarts at her.

"Madam Midori Jones." She cringed, hearing that French accent.

"Bulloq." She gritted her teeth. "Don't you know it's unfair to take other people's hard earned treasure?"

"I'll give you a bottle of whiskey for it."

"Really?" She said eagerly. "Then-Hey, wait a minute! This belongs in a museum."

"I could always have my friends shoot you with their poisonous darts."

"Okay, you win." She threw the idol back to Bulloq as she relaxed a bit.

"Alright. Now, I'll have my friends kill you."

"Dammit, Bulloq!" she shouted as she ran down the jungle path. She spotted the plane and leapt into the cockpit, where her pilot made a quick escape from the island.

Just when she thought she could have relaxed, she spotted something terrifying.

"There's a snake in here!"

The pilot chuckled a bit. "Oh, that's just my pet!"

"I hate snakes!"

**My Wood Tree is Hard**

Shizuru and Natsuki finally stumbled back to the ancient pathway. After a long night of running and laughing, Shizuru offered to carry the blue-haired girl back. Naturally, rather instinctively, Natsuki refused. As their high heels clicked on the stone pathway, leading up to the house, they faced each other once more. However, Natsuki couldn't stop looking at Shizuru's face. She never realized how much _fun _they had together, and how much time felt meaningless for them. As they stared into each other's eyes, she noticed the crimson eyes getting closer to her face.

"Did you have a good time?" A light-hearted voice sang.

The femme fatale blushed when she least wanted it. "Umm...yeah! I mean,- I did. I really enjoyed tonight."

"Does Natsuki want to give me a kiss?" Shizuru called out, smiling.

She inched closer to Natsuki's face, brushing away the random azure strands. Natsuki's breathing became short and frequent. Even with the cold wind blowing, all of her body warmth rushed to Natsuki's face. Honestly, she felt as if time played tricks on her. However, Natsuki didn't want to pull away. Unlike last time,she felt comfortable and easy to be with Shizuru. Then, her mind thought of something she didn't want to relive. Natsuki couldn't forget that night, in that garden where Shizuru-

A thin finger prevented Shizuru's lips from making contact. "Wait."

Shizuru paused and gave a deep sigh. "You don't feel the same way?"

"It's not that." She replied with a hurried response. The last time she stopped Shizuru, she put a gap inbetween them. Last time, she drove someone important away.

"Shizuru, do you remember the night when Yukino and Haruka appeared?" A silence said everything that needed to be said. Shizuru did remember. Shizuru remembered how she revealed her dark nature, how she nearly killed Haruka and left Yukino to rot. Shizuru, most of all, remembered how Natsuki pulled away from her that night. But, Shizuru's reaction to the situation remained. Her reaction mattered the most.

"Ara ara. I remember it took place in this garden." The president replied, light-hearted as usual. "Natsuki looked so pretty that night."

"Don't joke around." Natsuki responded while holding her arms in the cold. "Please. Don't joke."

At this moment, Natsuki witnessed Shizuru's mask removed. Shizuru always wore a mask of teasing, joking, smiling and sighing emotions. So when she expressed a sort of shock in her face, Natsuki watched. As the president turned away, she looked at the sand garden and said nothing for several long seconds. When she turned around, she smiled. She didn't smile broadly, but sadly.

"When Natsuki was in danger, I...I swore I would protect her. I would eleminate all of her enemies to save her. All I wanted was for Natsuki to be safe."

The femme fatale stepped forward. "Are you sure it wasn't to make me love you?"

Shizuru turned around, with a slow smile. "Have you figured me out?"

"Almost." she sighed, unsure what to do. "I _want _to be with you. It's just that...I'm afraid."

Natsuki could tell Shizuru's voice almost lost of of its strength when Natsuki said this. She almost didn't want to reveal the answer to that question. However, a part of her commited itself to telling the truth.

"Is Nat- Are you afraid of me?" She finally asked.

"I'm afraid of hurting you. I'm afraid of someone finding out and hurting you again. That part of you, that part of you that's so dedicated to protecting me. If I'm the cause of that problem, I don't want to be."

Natsuki turned around and cupped Shizuru's soft white face. "I just want you to be happy."

Shizuru for a moment paused in her thinking and once again, gave a carefree smile.

"If that's what Natsuki was worried about, why didn't she tell me sooner?"

The president pulled away from Natsuki's face and walked steadily towards a tree. Natuski's breath became shorter. She didn't understand what it meant. Did she hurt her again? Did Natsuki force Shizuru way again, and she would face the consequences? She gazed at Shizuru and reached her hand for her.

"I'm sorry," she giggled in her Kyoto-ben accent. "But could everyone please leave so Natsuki and I could have a quiet moment together?"

* * *

"How did she know?" Mikoto cried out as she leapt from the branch. She and the rest of the entire group sat on branches, watching the whole scene play out. Luckily, Reito had the insight to distribute popcorn to everybody. Unfortunately, Mikoto blew their cover.

"No Mikoto!" Mai urged. "She wants to lure us out!"

"Tokiha!" Tate muttered out painfully. "Your foot is in my face!"

"Onii-chan, I'm slipping." Shiho held on for dear life as she pulled on Tate's shirt.

"You little bitch!" Nao shrilled. "Don't let go of me or we'll-"

"Fall!" Chie and Aoi screamed together as everyone, except for Reito and Nagi, fell out of the tree along with several leaves.

The scene fell dead silent as all of the group stared at each other, each wearing a shocked look.

Mai scratched her head as her body couldn't movie under Tate's, Shiho's and Nao's body. "Uhh...Hi?"

The group watched in horror as Natsuki's face transformed into several phases: First came shock, in which the azure haired girl stared at them with a blank face.

"Uh...huh...wha?"

Next came embarrassment, in which Natsuki's face darkened to bright red.

"How long were you sitting there?"

Then, accusation reared its ugly head as the motorcyclist began to connect the pieces together.

"Wait. Don't tell me you were stalking us? Don't tell me you went out all this way to spy on us?"

Finally, anger appeared and with that came another familiar expression.

All Hell broke loose.

"I'm going to kill all of you!" Natsuki's scream signaled her charge as she started to run down the stone pathway, and thus off to where the group couldn't see her.

Mai gazed as far as she could see. "Isn't she going the wrong way?"

Chie, being relieved of the situation, turned to Shizuru. "So when did you find out?"

"During the time of the coffee shop. I heard Nao's background music playing."

All of the group stared daggers and possibly holes into Nao.

"What?" Nao defended. "I can't help it!"

Tate scratched his head, unsure what to make of the situation. "Wait, why did Kuga go away if she was going to take it out on us?"

Shiho tugged on his shirt. "Maybe she's going to find something to hit us with, Onii-chan."

Mai stretched out and sighed. "Well whatever it is, we should-"

"Danger." Mikoto cried out, putting her ear to the ground. "Noise."

"What could it be?" Aoi cried out. "It's not like she has superpowers or anything-"

Then, they all saw the roaring cylinders of Natsuki's 60 mile per hour Yamaha motorcycle, chasing after them.

Mai pointed to the cycle and said only one thing. "Run!"

Everyone split in several directions in order to flee the ensuing chaos. Naturally, the motorcycle first targeted Nao with a fury like no other. She literally screamed profanities as she stumbled across the sand. The cycle's wheels dug into the dirt sending dust everywhere as it hunted down the remaining victims. Shiho and Tate got a mouth full of smoke into their faces, Aoi and Chie's phones were run over and several strands of Mai's bright orange hair turned gray. Mikoto never realized how motorcycles made her run over to the other side until tonight.

"This sure is a spectacle, isn't it, Lord Kokuyou?" Nagi commented while popping more popcorn into his mouth.

"It sure is," Reito replied, happy to have found a comfortable seating place on a branch.

It wasn't long before Natsuki traumatized most of the group into leaving. Several possessions, including some tuna, a condom, a broken cell phone and a book entitled, "How to get that bitch off your Onii-chan" had been left behind. When Natsuki got off the motorcycle, she shot an accusatory look at Nagi and Reito.

"Leave. Now." She gritted between her teeth.

"Leaving!" Reito smiled politely, getting down from the tree.

"I have to go, too!" Nagi sighed dramatically. "Mashiro-chan's so feisty when I leave her for a long time!"

* * *

As the two left in the distance, the motorcyclist turned to the president and stared at her with a suspicious look.

"Anyone else?" she demanded to know. Shizuru merely turned to a bush and bent down.

"You can come out too, ninja-kun."

Immediately, a masked ninja with feminine features popped out of the bush.

"You didn't see me!" the ninja cried while throwing a smoke bomb into the ground and vanashing into the night.

"Wait." Natsuki paused, thinking about what she just witnessed. "If Okazaki Akira is here, who's looking after Mai's brother?"

_Meanwhile in America..._

Ninjas cackled into the night, as they carried the boy in a potato sack.

"Akira-kun!"

_Back in Japan..._

"Ah, I'm sure it'll all work out." She thought out loud as she turned to Shizuru once again. Rather than wearing an expression of weary, the president actually felt quite calm about the whole situation. Natsuki loved to see Shizuru smile.

In fact, she loved Shizuru more than she could've imagined.

"I'm...sorry about your garden," Natsuki rubbed the back of her head while patting her green dress down.

"Ara ara. It seems that Natsuki didn't like when people stared at her. Does that mean she wishes to stop seeing me?"

Natsuki stared into the shining rubies and grinned widely. Once again, she stumbled in confusion, only to come out with a better understanding of herself. The motorcyclist leaned in and wet Shizuru's lips. The kiss sent a sense of electricity to both of them as they began to squeeze each other passionately. The rested on each other's shoulders and sighed. Natsuki Kuga found a little peace after a night of fun, laughter, and rage. And for once, it felt good.

"Natsuki?" Shizuru smiled.

"What?"

"I think you lost our bet."

* * *

The group groaned as they walked back to Chie's car.

Tate moaned out loud. "Well, that was a waste of time!"

Shiho sobbed quietly, "I didn't get my Wii!"

Nao gritted her teeth, while rubbing her behind. "And I didn't get my revenge."

"Still," Mai spoke up, "I feel after all of this, there are several key issues that remained unresolved."

"Oh!" Tate cried out. "Am I still coming over your house this Saturday at 12, Tokiha?"

"Yeah!"

"Onee-chan, you said you're going to help me with my project at 1."

"Don't worry. I'll be there, too!"

"Mai," Mikoto urged, "Aren't you going to cook ramen for me on Saturday?"

"Sure, when Tate arrives."

Aoi and Chie smiled together, not wanting to spoil the fun.

Mai sighed. "Well, I'm glad that we all got to go on this great adventure. It looks like we didn't forget a single person here. Not a single person at all."

_Meanwhile at Kazu's apartment..._

"What do you want to do today, my super special lovey-dovey soulmate?" Akane grinned happily as they sat on the couch.

"Let's just sit here and wait for a fanfiction to be written about us, super special lovey-dovey soulmate!" Kazuya replied.

"Okay!"

(**A/N: **But the fanfic never came. I'd like to thank everybody for taking the time to review this work. You provided the crack, and I kept writing. Thank you, and good night!)


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